summer of wellnesss

My oh my, where has the summer gone?  It’s officially fall here in Colorado.  The weather has been cooler, a slight breeze to the air, and sweater and boot season is upon us.  I am happy fall is here.  For me, seasons are a time of change and renewal.  Fall for me is a time when I start to calm down, slow down and streamline a lot of the business in my life.

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my own rules

I make my own rules and my own plans.  When I really think about it all, it’s truly empowering.  I used to be terrified to be in charge of my own life.  What if I messed up?  I’d have no one to blame but myself.  Then, I stopped fearing failure, and I took control of my actions.  Every decision this past year, I can 100% say it’s been my own.  I’ve failed.  I’ve succeeded.  More importantly, I’ve had the most freedom and happiness in my whole life.

rest the body, rest the soul

Whoa.  Last week was a whirlwind for me.  My routine got shaken up as I begun a new job last week.  It was time for a new rhythm though.  I like routine, but yawn… I like my routine in intervals, i.e. mix it up a bit, then get into a groove, then add or subtract a variable, etc.  This is how I grow.  Stagnancy is never a good thing for me.  That being said, last week was all over the place.  I felt emotionally and physically drained.  My soul needed stillness.  So, what did I do?  I listened.

more than a cupcake

I posted this on my Instagram (@emvalerioti) a few weeks ago.  It was a huge moment for me, one that I am still proud of.  It also is so prominent because Melissa Hartwig, Whole30 headmistress herself, gave me positive affirmations on my food freedom story, and approved of my selection of cupcake with the “proper cupcake to frosting ratio.”  Love. Love.  Love.  I don’t have celeb crushes really, Robert Downey Jr. aside, but I do have some serious author/blogger crushes.  Melissa being one of them.  Keep reading to read my original post on Instagram, word for word and see a pic of when I met Melissa two months ago, eep!

justin timberlake is running out of time

I can tell when I’m passionate about something, when I truly care about something.  I give it my all.  I have the “all or nothing” personality.  It bites me in the ass sometimes (a lot of the times), and it also allows me to know myself better.  I know when something or someone is worth my time, because I prioritize it/him/her in my life.  One of my biggest pet peeves is when I hear the phrase/excuse “I don’t have time.”  You do have time.  I have time.  We both have the same amount of time.  What differs between you and I and our time, is how we choose to spend it, how we prioritize it.  When I hear the phrase “I don’t have time,” or when I use the phrase “I don’t have time,”  I really hear, “It’s not a priority of mine.”  And guess what??  That’s totally okay!

opening open day | crossfit & goals

There is this thing.  It occurs every year, and it happens every week for five weeks beginning the end of February (today) to March.  It is known by those who are familiar with CrossFit as “The Open.”  Dun dun dun… It brings a crazy mix of feelings ranging from fear, excitement, nervousness, motivation, etc.  For those unfamiliar with the CrossFit world, it’s pretty much five surprise workouts announced weekly that brings together the CrossFit community.  It is incredible in that sense.  Community is huge in CrossFit.  Personally speaking, my gym and every coach, member, dog, etc. in it, do not just fall into the category of “fitness,” but also “friendship.”  The Open magnifies this experience globally.  That’s right.  I said, globally. 

a very merry unbirthday

Today is not a special day.  Today is not my birthday.  Today is Monday.  Today seems to be filled with the same mundane tasks  in my schedule—yet today, today felt like something more when I woke up this morning.  When I woke up very late 10 minutes ago, thus making myself unable to attend class—yet, I woke today feeling refreshed, feeling content, feeling like it is a special day, and I knew.

night vision

It’s now 2am.  Sleep still eludes me.  Again.  Part of my ongoing health saga of 2016… Well in seven hours, I will be seeing another doctor.  That makes three doctors in less than one week.  Getting ridiculous?  Don’t have to tell that to me.  Hopefully this doc will be able to provide me with more insight and detail since she is an endocrinologist.  Basically, it’s been “narrowed” down to a hormonal issue.  Simple right?  {Please catch on to this sarcasm.}  I am hopeful though.  This appointment wasn’t supposed to be until August, but due to my recent lymph node flare up, I got bumped up on the list.  For that I am grateful.  Anyway, while I haven’t been able to fall asleep lately, I have had plenty of time for other things.

raising my white flag

It’s weird to say this, but I’m surrendering to this war I’ve been fighting in my body.  I’ve mentioned briefly here and there about my symptoms and never ending trips to the doctor’s and laboratories, unless we’ve personally chatted, then I’ve probably ranted your ear off (sorry ’bout that…).  I’ve had viles of blood taken, physical examinations, EKGs, salivary tests and I’ve had to pee in a freaking jug for 24 HOURS.  TMI?  Nah.  Welcome to my personal hell these past few months.  What is worst of all however, is that I am still undiagnosed and the medical system has left me on my own again.  So here I am.  Left to keep on fightin’ until I don’t have fight left in me–and well, that day came this morning…

two years: just yesterday & an eternity ago

It’s been two years now. I have been trying to wrap my head around this thought for a couple of weeks now as this looming date approached.  Two years ago.  Two years have passed since I lost my best friend.  Two years, yet it feels like just yesterday, but also an eternity ago all at once. I cannot describe this feeling.  Some days the pain feels so fresh and recent, and others, I can feel the scar there healed over.