a year can change you

A lot can happen in a year.  2015 has been my year that is without a doubt. I have grown in so many ways and really nailed down what I stand for and who I want to strive to become.  Of course, I am going to give you all a run down of how exactly how I have changed for the better this year, and you will get to see fun pics of some highlights of this year’s adventures with my friends, but to leave it at that would just be unfair.  Unfair because I am not the only one on this planet that has changed this year.  Every one of us has had an adventurous year for certain.

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a relationship post

As of late, I have been hearing a lot of conversation about relationships.  I hear a tidbit here and there, walking to campus, in classes, from my sorority sisters, from my peers, in passerby conversations, all twenty-somethings and all wanting to be in a relationship with someone “before it’s too late.”  Too late for what may I ask?  So many people it seems are desperately seeking someone to love these days, but out of fear.  Fear of being alone for the rest of their lives.  Trust me, I understand this place.  I have been in and out of that specific place myself.  

two steps back for four forward

Sometimes when you are busy making heaps of progress, you forget to look back to reflect on how far you’ve come.  When striving for a goal, of course you want to head in the forward direction, but sometimes you have to go backwards to jumpstart yourself.  This concept holds true for all aspects of life: fitness, nutrition, health, heart, happiness, etc.  That is where I am at this current moment.  Without realizing, nor exactly volunteering, I took a few steps backward recently and this is what I discovered… 

a makenzie restoration

✝ Makenzie will never be forgotten. She was such a role model both in dance and life.  Makenzie’s story and legacy, the Stocker family and Makenzie’s best friend Caitlin have all helped me in dealing with my own personal grief with Jessi.  They taught me to “turn my mourning into dancing” and showed me that I can get through this.

Todd Stocker

The dreams about her have subsided. I don’t think about her everyday as I have in years past and I’m needing to play old audio to remember her voice. Six years ago today, my oldest daughter, Makenzie — who is now my youngest — was invited into heaven.  “Six years” is a long time as I think about all that has happened since.  Great things.  Hard things.  Things to celebrate and things to mourn.  

As I spend today in the back corner of a small-town coffee shop, I think about the word “restoration.”  More-so, I think about what it takes to be restored.  Brokenness first.  Surrender second.  Expertise third.  Time last.  Then, restoration births new life.  That’s God’s way.  He takes my broken and hurting heart for the loss of my child and calls it to surrender.  He reaches out and holds my surrendered hands first to comfort, then…

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austin adventures

This weekend, my sister and I headed up to Austin to celebrate my future sister-in-law’s bachelorette party and festivities.  It was so much fun and we were lucky to have nice weather.  If you have not heard, Houston has been flooding pretty badly and pretty much all of Texas has been hit with some serious storms.  Pretty much everything we did centered around the outdoors like grilling and playing games on the patio, going to various wineries and BBQ for lunch, to walking around 6th Street bar hopping the night away.  It was great meeting all of the friends and family that I get to see again come July for the wedding–I can’t wait!

finishing for jessi

So I know I have been MIA these past few weeks.  I can go ahead and blame finals and all of the other end-of-semester chaos that is really quite expected by now, but I am not going to.  I know of a few low priority things I can put on the back burner when I have a lot going on, but I do not want this blog to be one.  It acts as a huge stress reliever actually and allows me an outlet to honestly whatever I feel I need to let out (that mostly being my love for food and fitness that gets suppressed by the engineering world–but that’s another story).  As my first day back to my blogging world, I find nothing more suiting than to share how my half marathon went this past Sunday.  The same half marathon I devoted to running for Jessi.

spring flings

As I have probably mentioned before, Spring is my favorite season.  I love Easter, getting outdoors, the sunshine, the flowers, etc.  This post is just my ode to Spring and what I do to get out and enjoy it.  When I moved to Colorado a few years ago, my outlook on Spring shifted slightly–snow?? Really??  Oh well, even random snow storms can’t dull my Spring spirit.

easter feels

Easter is beyond my favorite holiday.  The spring season, the meaning, the feeling it brings inside me–everything about it just cleanses me and gives me an ignited appreciation for life and all the little things it brings.  I love Easter with all my heart, and why wouldn’t I when this holiday reminds people of new life and rebirth and hope?  I must admit to feeling emotional on Easter.  It’s embarrassing to admit, but I usually tear up in Church.  This Easter I have even more “feels” in me.  One of my favorite Easters was a few years back to my freshman year when I was warmly invited to spend Easter with Jessi and her wonderful family.

hearts, hearts and more hearts

I have been both single and in relationships for Valentine’s day, so I speak from experience when I say that Valentine’s Day is a very weird holiday on both parts.  V-day has always just be eh for me.  I don’t hate it, I am not its number one fan.  In my opinion, it is just a holiday in which everyone gets all stressed out and–more often times than not–just straight up sad on the 14th.  Please people.  Calm down.  If you have a significant other, just relax.  Spend the day together.  Do not build these huge expectations of grandeur.  My best Valentine’s day with my boyfriend at the time was a night spend at home making dinner together and watching Scrubs.  If you are single, oh my gosh!  Enjoy it!  Once I embraced being single (and happy) this Valentine’s Day, I am more in favor of this day of love than I used to be.

cheat days don’t make you fat

Yes.  I see you glorious plate of homemade Mary’s Mountain Cookies… Yes.  You did overcome my will power tonight.  Yes.  I am talking to cookies.  So I had an off day today–a “cheat day” if you please.  I am human after all.  A human living in a society filled with yummy goodies and sweets that seem to be at the center of every social event.  Even if that event is a Saturday night at home with the roommates and a friend brings over famously good treats.  This cheat day of mine involved a bite of each type of treat (plus a brownie and cookie quarter), 2 processed protein bars, and milk chocolate (with almonds if that makes it better?)  My cheat day won’t make me “fat,” however unhealthy these items are.  I won’t wake up tomorrow with my 7 pounds of fat back on my body.  It will make me stronger, though.