dear jessi

Dear Jessi,

I don’t think I have ever been this genuinely and consistently happy as I have this year–and my happiness keeps escalating with  every day.  I have grown tremendously this year.  I’ve learned to let go of things out of my control.  I have learned to dismiss toxic people in my life, and to seek out and pursue only those that can lift me up and enhance my ongoing happiness and harmony.  This summer has been one for the books with so much growth, discovery, detoxification, adventure, love, confidence, and inner peace and contentment that I have not felt in a very long time.  

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finishing for jessi

So I know I have been MIA these past few weeks.  I can go ahead and blame finals and all of the other end-of-semester chaos that is really quite expected by now, but I am not going to.  I know of a few low priority things I can put on the back burner when I have a lot going on, but I do not want this blog to be one.  It acts as a huge stress reliever actually and allows me an outlet to honestly whatever I feel I need to let out (that mostly being my love for food and fitness that gets suppressed by the engineering world–but that’s another story).  As my first day back to my blogging world, I find nothing more suiting than to share how my half marathon went this past Sunday.  The same half marathon I devoted to running for Jessi.

dear jessi

Dear Jessi,

I have been thinking about you a lot lately, and that usually means I am missing you more so than usual.  Every little (or huge) reminder of your constant presence never ceases to bring me back.  It is truly amazing how much you are still touching my life.  I would not be the person I am now without you.  You have turned my life into an ever-shining bliss of happiness and sunshine.    You continue to inspire me to always be encouraging towards others.  In fact, I am now a Beachbody Coach helping and empowering others to find health and fitness–something that I never would have had the courage to pursue if it was not for your encouraging voice in the back of my mind throughout the process.  I want to help people just like you have/are helping me: that is to be the best version of myself no matter what, to always challenge myself in order to grow and to constantly strive to live life with heart, health and happiness.  

Recently, I have been too wrapped up in bringing light to others’ lives (which is amazing), but I only say “too wrapped up” because I started to settle back into my “comfort” zone again–not like before thank goodness, but enough to become a little too stressed and anxious like the old Emily (you know the one).  However, you saw this before I did and you intervened ASAP.  This may sound silly to others, but you know exactly what I am talking about.  You tricky trickster.  Last night at my cooking class training, I met the CSU’s “new” nutritionist–Kelsey.  I could not believe it!  Especially when she said she was teaching cycling again at the Rec.  When I heard this I knew.  I knew this was you reaching out to me.  It took everything in me to not bust out cry-laughing, but I managed not to (unlike now…)  You knew I needed this push because the truth is, I have not stepped into that cycling studio since you left.  I could not even imagine what would happen when I sat down next to your bike…

Regardless of my fears, I took your challenge.  This morning, I got up at 5:30 am and headed to Kelsey’s cycling class.  At first, it was a little overwhelming, but as class started, I felt stronger–physically from Kelsey’s crazy good cardio class of course, but also emotionally.  I overcame this emotional challenge of being in that studio–a place where our friendship really grew every Tuesday/Thursday at 7 am freshman and sophomore year.  It was good to be back, Jess.  I cannot thank you enough once again.  You inspire me, you encourage me and you challenge me every day to be a better human being.  No one else may understand or see the value of this victory, but to me, it is another page turned in the story of my “Journey for Jessi.”

love you always,

Em

chasing happiness

I started this blog as a health blog in memory of my best friend Jessi a few months ago. Jessi was my best friend that I waited to emerge all my life, and the two years I knew her, though short, I felt like we had been friends our whole lives. She was the one and only person I could relate to 100%. I knew she would always understand and help me through difficult times. It has been seven months to the night now. Seven months since I lost my best friend, confidant, and sister in Christ. I miss her every single day, and it still feels as fresh as the night she passed. I have been lying to myself thinking that things have been better. But the truth is, I am very lost.

back from break

Well, it was great while it lasted–my Thanksgiving break that is.  At least I got a full week off at home to relax, enjoy the warm weather, spoil my tummy (maybe a bit too much), and decorate the house for my favorite holiday!  ‘Tis the season.  My home in Houston just explodes with Christmas spirit and I soak every moment of it in.  This is everything holly and jolly that happened in just the two days after Thanksgiving.

happy twenty-first birthday

A few of you may have seen on my Instagram, or know, that a week ago today (July 21st) would have been Jessi’s 21st birthday.  It was a weekend full of emotions, both happy and sad, but I am thankful that I happened to be in Colorado to celebrate with all of her close friends and family last week.  

detoxify

My detox yesterday helped immensely.  My stomach has returned to normal today after loading it with a mish-mosh of foods on Father’s Day.  It all started with breakfast.  I woke up and immediately began drinking water.  This is extremely important when trying to flush out your body.  I filled up my water bottle about three times yesterday morning. It is also important to start your day off on the right note—meaning breakfast.  I needed fuel for my day, but something that would not upset my already-bloated stomach.  I decided on a Green Detox Smoothie.